— Originally published in Honcho magazine - April, 1996 —

THE WHITE PICKET FENCE

by Lefty Boylan (aka Michael Kirwan)

The mouthpieces for the big gay movement keep insisting that we're just like straight people, that we all want the same things, the homes, the jobs, and even the right to keep rugrats. The spokespersons declare that we want the stability, the comfortable positions, that we want to be recognized. They wring their hands along with straight people when images of drag queens and leathermen are portrayed as emblematic of our community's values.

They become as hysterical as Christian leadership at the mention of sex before the age of twenty. They applaud each new gesture indicating that our culture is being mainstreamed into the general population. And they constantly assure the "normal" folks that we are exactly like them, only with one minor, hardly noticeable, totally negligible, absolutely beside-the-point difference. That as contributing members of society, we should be entitled to marriage and a split-level surrounded by a white picket fence, just like the real people have!

Well, they can shove their fence up their asses and twirl as far as I'm concerned. My idea of happiness isn't smiling at my beloved over the dinner table and entwining fingers sporting simple golden bands. Au contraire! My idea of perfect bliss is to have an enormous cock rammed up my asshole, another shoved down my throat, with a popper bottle up one nostril while my dick is pumping into a manly orifice. In one hand, I'll clutch a bottle of gin and in the other a stack of illegally procured hundred dollar bills. And just for good measure, let's toss in a worshipful fetishist sucking my toes for all he's worth. I don't need state-sanctioned stability, because there will always be dark, remote places where men gather silently to grope at each other's crotches. There will be always be men whose actions are dictated by the churning in their balls rather than the stirrings in their hearts. There will always be men for whom meat is more real than meaning.

When I became a fag, I didn't "just say no" to pussy, I said NO to all the hypocrisy, bullshit, triviality, and general mendacity inherent in straight life. I discarded all the traditional values, all the accepted doctrine, and all the bogus trappings of "normal" life. The government seems systematically evil with its power, the religions are ruthless in their mission to control freedom, and corporate America is a mean, self-serving meat-grinder.

So, not only do I not want to be "recognized" by these various social constructs, I revile them and would like to see them all drown in their own venom. I don't give a shit whether or not sodomy is legalized; I'm going to do it anyway. And as long as prisons are same-sex, if I ever got put away I'd still be able to perform my main function in life — cock-sucking. Come on, if they arrested everyone who's ever pawed the genitals of a member of the same sex, there'd be no one left except for some true lunatics (whose policy it is anyway).

The fact is that "straightworld" isn't as offended by our sexual practices as they are by our independence. They aren't scared that we'll butt-fuck their brothers; they're scared that we'll reveal the big ugly lies that hold this society together. They're horrified that our attitude doesn't include closets or fences.