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Nutcracker

"A few months ago, I ran into a former editor of mine back from the olden days. In the course of our genial catching up, he mentioned that he had some of my original illustrations buried somewhere in his garage. This weekend he unearthed some pieces that I had long ago figured to be lost in time and space. Three of these images are from my very early days (1995) at STROKE, the Rolls Royce of gay porn (where from I got my first-ever paycheck for doing what I love).

How do I know that they are a product of my STROKE time? Well, one of them features a dwarf, another has an amputee, and the third depicts a guy with obvious birth defects (...uh, no. I'm not going to find the new and improved politically correct euphemism) smoking a cigarette. Back when I began my career/vocation, I was determined to portray as many different kinds of queers as I could imagine (whom I'd certainly have eager sex with) and thought some were kept invisible by most of the gay artists of that era. I recall sending in a batch of drawings — maybe 10-15 — and the editor explaining to me how they would be grouped per magazine issue. When he said that the not-so-perfect guys would be packaged together, I told him that I didn't want it done that way. These guys needed to be just part of a regular segment — not partitioned off into a "freak" zone. He's a brilliant guy and got my argument right away. Whether a different color or age or in this case compacted, surgically abbreviated or genetically stunted, we are all queers and very equal in the most relevant way possible.

I'm proud of these three drawings and what they represented about our community in the pages of STROKE, and (so what? I have an ego!!! Haha!!) about how I craftily intellectualized the process from the inception of my commitment to homoerotica. ALL of us are amazing in all of our individual beauty."

— Michael Kirwan

Nutcracker — 1995 —